Scenes

To be read Mitch Hedberg-style.
________________________________

I inject my brain into the blackness
and my eyes widen in shock when
the neon green screen appears
"PG-13: Parental Guidance Suggested."

The music soars and rumbles
and my brain feels a little tipsy
like it's drunk on sound
and will at any minute pass out
from the effects of its inebriation.

The first scene and the opening line
and my eyes are fixed glazedly
on the massive screen in front of me
angled slightly away and a little to the left.

I am the main character and also
the girl in the corner. Sometimes
I am the mouse in the trap and,
occasionally, the dastardly villain.

I feel the pain and my brain
cries a little when they do--
little nervous butterflies dance
in mating rituals down

in my stomach when she is
stuck in the burning building
or the drowning car or even
that really bad relationship.

And I am the kid that locked himself
in the closet and is scared to
high heaven because the monster with
the green eyes and the warts and
the saliva dripping from the side of its mouth
is nibbling my toe.

And when you tap me on the shoulder
and ask if I want Raisinettes
I'm probably still the convict with the suspicious eyes
and if I turn to you and say

that I robbed that bank, I really did,
you can just smile and, yes, Raisinettes
are fine.